


The Fires of Transformation

by dragonwings948



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Angst, Elections, Feels, Fights, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling, Politics, Referenced Time War (Doctor Who), Regeneration, Regeneration Angst (Doctor Who), Sad, Time War Angst (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28622964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: Once the Time War is over, the people of Gallifrey need a new leader. Romana is the popular choice, but if she wins the election, Gallifreyan law is clear about what must happen next.To become President of Gallifrey once more, Romana will have to regenerate.
Relationships: Leela & Narvin & Romana, Leela & Narvin (Doctor Who), Leela & Romana II, Narvin & Romana II
Comments: 24
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

After the war, after all the manipulations, after the slaughter, after Rassilon’s hypocrisy was unmasked, the people of Gallifrey were tired and broken. They were fed up with war and politics, and they needed a leader who understood that.

As the whispers of new governments and leaders spread, there was one name that was uttered more than any other. It was a name that brought hope to the hearts of nearly anyone who heard it, and it didn’t take long for it to no longer be whispered in secret, but shouted in the streets. People rallied around the name. Many claimed they wouldn’t rest until the next presidential election was held.

Because the people of Gallifrey wanted Romana, and no one else would do.

* * *

After the war, after the pain and loss, after the terror, after barely coming out alive, Romana was exhausted. She was fed up with war and politics, so she remained in a remote part of the Capitol and slept for a good long while before she turned her attention to anything else. But there was a thought that plagued her dreams, sometimes filling her head so much that she couldn’t even sleep:

_What is my purpose now?_

Gallifrey was in chaos. Rassilon's entire government had been exposed and then tossed out, leaving no ruler and very few High Council members. Her own status was still unclear, as no one in authority had officially restored her to her position yet. She’d tried to reach the centre of the Capitol, but security was tight as the Chancellery Guard hunted down the remaining followers of Rassilon.

So now she sat in her room drinking tea and contemplating the feeling of being utterly worthless. It was ironic, really. She’d worked so hard for peace, only to be faced with purposelessness once she'd achieved it.

A series of sharp taps on her door made her jump. “Romana?"

She stood, recognising Narvin’s voice. His presence wasn’t a surprise, as he and Leela came to visit her nearly every day, but his urgent tone shocked her. In a moment, a thousand terrible scenarios ran through her head. Had Rassilon somehow come back? Were there Dalek survivors?

Romana pinched the bridge of her nose. She was just so _tired._

She opened the door and Narvin strode right past her, heading for a screen mounted on her wall. “Have you been watching the vidcast today?”

Romana huffed. “Hello to you too, Narvin.”

He paused, turning to face her with a slight blush in his cheeks. “Forgive me. Just…watch.” He switched on the monitor and a crystal clear image of a smart-looking time lord appeared. The man looked straight into the camera as he spoke.

“…by today’s announcement that a presidential election will be held within the next week. People have been gathering around the Capitol in _astounding_ numbers to shout the praises of Lady Romanadvoratrelundar, former President of Gallifrey and Coordinator of the Celestial Intervention Agency. During the presidency of Lord Rassilon…”

Romana felt Narvin’s eyes on her as the commentator related a brief version of her actions during the Time War. She looked down and tried to process what she’d just heard, not wanting to hear her follies and mistakes repeated back to her.

A sinking feeling settled in her stomach. Yes, people were singing her praises, but in doing so, they were also demanding her life.

“Romana?” Narvin asked quietly.

She looked back up as the man on the screen continued: “Of course, if the Lady Romanawere to win the election, Gallifreyan law states that—”

“Turn it off,” Romana commanded more sharply than she’d intended.

Narvin jumped and fumbled with the remote before the screen flickered to black.

_Silence._

Romana couldn’t think. She didn’t _want_ to think. Because already, she knew what she had to do. She had to save what remained of Gallifrey and undo all the damage Rassilon and the Daleks had done.

_But the cost…_

She was so tired.

It was quiet enough that she could hear Narvin swallow before he spoke. “Romana?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

She knew what she’d see if she looked into his eyes. Pity. Sorrow. She didn’t need that from him.

“You don’t have to,” he said with more energy. “No one can make you do this.”

“No one except myself,” she said quietly. She finally raised her eyes and saw exactly what she’d predicted in his expression. “Is there anyone else you would trust to put Gallifrey back together?”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, avoiding her gaze. His eyebrows sat low over her eyes and his hands fidgeted restlessly by his sides.

“It doesn’t always have to be you.” His voice was barely audible as he stared out the window towards gathering clouds on the horizon. “It’s not your job to fix everything that goes wrong on Gallifrey.”

“No. It doesn’t have to be me; not _this_ me, anyway.”

Narvin looked at her sharply. “Romana!” Anger spiced his voice, like a reprimand, but in a moment his face fell and he looked out the window again. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

His concern softened her hearts—and made a lump settle in the middle of her throat.

Narvin was right. She could walk away from this. She could stay here in her little flat with Leela and Narvin down the corridor and let someone else clean up the Time War’s mess.

But that hollow feeling of worthlessness would remain.

“You’re going to do it, aren’t you?”

Romana sighed. “Narvin, I’m sorry—”

“Just tell me one thing. Is this really about the presidency, or is this about giving up?”

Romana straightened and narrowed her gaze. “You should know by now, Narvin, that I don’t give up so easily.”

The shadow of a smile passed over his face. “There’s the President I know. But I wouldn’t blame you, you know. After everything we’ve been through, I’d probably choose to regenerate if I…” He trailed off and cleared his throat. “Just let me know whatever you need. I doubt that the cheering masses need much convincing to vote for you, but…”

“I still want to make this count.” _If only because it’s the last thing I’ll ever do in this body,_ she added in her head.

When Narvin stayed quiet, she looked at him again and saw a crumpled look of sadness on his face. “For goodness’ sake, Narvin, I can’t have you looking at me like that through the entire campaign. I haven’t regenerated yet!”

He blinked rapidly and shook his head, trying his best to put on a neutral expression. “How’s this?”

“Better.” Already, Romana’s mind began working, thinking of speeches, wondering who her opponents would be…

But with a single sentence, Narvin derailed her entire train of thought.

“How are you going to tell Leela?”


	2. Chapter 2

“…and so, as your President, I will ensure that the High Council, the Celestial Intervention Agency, the Chancellery Guard, and every other organisation within the Capitol is held accountable. I will expedite the disbanding of the War Council and find new positions for those who have—“

A clunky knock on the door cut off Romana in the middle of her speech. Narvin shook his head like he was waking from a spell. Even though Romana was no longer the young idealist she’d been when she’d first become President, she hadn’t lost an ounce of her charisma. She’d win this election by a landslide.

And then he’d never see her again.

Another more forceful knock made Narvin focus on the present once more. Romana lowered the datapad she’d been reading from and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Romana?”

Narvin froze. Leela’s voice.

“I’m busy!” Romana hissed.

Narvin opened his mouth to suggest that she couldn’t run from this forever, but by the time he sucked in a breath, he heard Romana’s bedroom door whirring shut. Narvin huffed.

“Perfect. Why am I always the one—”

“I can hear you, Narvin,” Leela’s muffled voice said from the other side of the front door.

Narvin moaned softly. He might as well get this over with.

He opened the door to Romana’s apartment and tried to force a smile as he saw Leela’s scowl. “Leela! It’s good to—”

“Where is Romana?” She pushed past him and paused in the centre of the living room. “You are both keeping something from me and I will know what it is.”

Narvin rushed to catch up with her as she began stalking towards Romana’s bedroom. “We’re not keeping anything from you! Romana’s campaign is simply taking up all of our time. She’s tired, Leela.”

That made her stop. Narvin clenched his teeth. He hated lying to her; both because Leela always discovered the truth, and because it hurt to keep something so monumental from her. But Romana had sworn him to secrecy, and she was (nearly) his President.

Leela turned and looked him in the eye, her expression troubled. “You know I do not believe your silly explanations. Romana has always made time to see me.”

Narvin swallowed. He didn’t know what to say.

“Have I…done something wrong?” Leela asked haltingly, her voice softer.

Narvin’s hearts broke so much at the sound of her voice that he expected Romana to charge out of her room and apologise that instant. But she didn’t. She was _that_ determined. How could she do this to Leela?

“Of course not.” Narvin took a step closer. “You know how single-minded Romana is. She’s working hard to win the election.”

Leela chuckled without humour. “They all say she will win no matter what she does.” She sighed and slumped onto Romana’s sofa, half-perched on the armrest as she cradled her chin in her hand. “I thought the end of the war would mean that we would all finally be together without pain, without trouble, without…sadness.”

“There are always new problems,” Narvin sighed, sitting beside her and leaning his head back so he looked at the ceiling.

“But Romana has always wanted to talk through our troubles; yet this time, when I am the one who wants to talk, she will not see me.”

Narvin looked over at her. The terrible truth bubbled up within him. He wanted so badly to tell her in that moment, but then he thought of how Leela would react if she knew. She wouldn’t understand. She’d get angry, she’d probably threaten both of them, and then would come the crippling sadness that Narvin had already experienced days ago. He’d learned to accept that it was happening.

Leela would not.

“You are thinking,” Leela said.

Narvin blinked and realised that her head was hovering over his. He stared into her bright blue eyes, remembering a time when he’d realised (with chagrin) that he missed them while they were hidden beneath a blindfold. So, so long ago…

Leela had saved his life time and again, she’d stuck by him even after all the terrible things he’d done, and she’d been one of the only things he’d lived for during the Time War. Narvin had made so many mistakes in his lifetime, but this once, he was fairly sure that he was right about one thing:

Romana was wrong.

“Romana…” He licked his lips. Romana would kill him for this, but then Leela would kill him if he didn’t tell her. Either way, he might as well kiss this last life goodbye. “Romana is keeping something from you,” he said, lowering his voice. “But she should be the one to tell you.”

“You’re right.”

Romana’s voice stunned him into silence. He hadn’t even heard her door open. He sat up and watched as Romana let out a long sigh, defeat clear in the slump of her shoulders. Moments ago, she had been the spitting image of a proud president. Now, she was an old, tired, humbled friend.

“I shouldn’t have tried to keep it from you,” Romana continued. She glanced at Narvin. “Narvin, could you give us a moment?”

Narvin swallowed hard. Romana looked so fragile it seemed like she’d collapse at any moment. He had no doubt that Leela’s response would be an outburst; would Romana be able to take it in her current state? What if she didn’t even make it through the election?

 _She’s stronger than that,_ he reminded himself. Even now, there was still that steely determination deep in her eyes.

“Of course.” He stood. “I’ll be just down the corridor if you need me.” He paused for a moment, looking between them. Part of him still wanted to leave Leela ignorant bliss, but that wasn’t an option anymore.

“Romana…” Narvin began, not sure how to form an apology.

Her gaze softened as she glanced at him. “It’s all right, Narvin.”

Narvin nodded and turned, walking out of Romana’s apartment. But as a sinking feeling settled deep in his chest, all he could think was, _No, it’s not all right._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....sorry???

A long silence stretched between Romana and Leela, a silence that told Leela multitudes.

Leela studied Romana: the way she unwaveringly held Leela’s gaze, the heavy sadness in her eyes, and, most of all, the fear that was present in every part of her _._ It seemed to absorb into Leela, twisting her stomach into knots. She hadn’t even realised it, but that fear had been building up inside of her, too, ever since she had known Romana was keeping something from her. It had only been waiting for the right moment to rear its head.

A moment like right now.

Leela tried to be brave, but it was no use. She could face a horde of Tesh without fear, she could run into battle with glee, but nothing scared her more than Romana’s eyes telling her that everything was about to change forever.

“Leela,” Romana began softly, “you know how much I value you as my friend.”

Leela sensed her usual avoidance tactic and raised an eyebrow. “You know I do not like it when you do not speak plainly.”

Romana sighed, her expression falling. “This isn’t easy for me, Leela.”

“Nor is it easy for me when you keep things from me.” She paused, trying to figure out what would worry Romana so much. Rassilon was gone, the war was over, they were quite literally cut off from the rest of the universe—how could there _possibly_ be anything else? “Is there trouble?”

“Not the kind you’re thinking of; not the kind you can fix.” Romana swallowed, then looked directly into Leela’s eyes. “I’m sorry that it has to happen this way, Leela. I know it will be difficult for you to accept—”

 _“Tell me,_ Romana.”

Romana nodded slowly. She seemed to gather herself and suddenly her face was wiped of all emotion. Leela knew this procedure; she was distancing herself from her feelings, putting on her mask of President of Gallifrey.

It was a mask Leela didn’t like to see her friend wear.

So the President of Gallifrey said, in a tone without feeling or regret, “If I win the election, I will have to regenerate.”

Leela blinked. “What?” She tried to fit Romana’s words into a context she could understand. “Are you ill?”

“No.” She shook her head, still devoid of emotion. “Gallifreyan law states that I cannot serve another term of office in this body. My next body, however, is a different story.”

Flashes of memory came to Leela’s mind. _Lady Trey._ Despite the complications of her existence, ever since Leela had first met her, it had been like seeing her own Romana’s death right in front of her eyes. Ever since then, the thought had plagued the darkest corners of her mind, fueling her nightmares as she knew that one day Romana’s time would come.

But not _now._

“No.” She shook her head, hearing a waver in her own voice. “No, I will not allow it. There must be another way, or you cannot be President.”

“There _is_ no other way, Leela. It’s the way things are, and I’ve accepted it. I’m the only veteran candidate—the others have no idea what they’re doing! They wouldn’t know the first thing about how to heal Gallifrey after everything that’s happened here.”

Leela knew without a doubt that Romana was exactly what Gallifrey needed right now, but not at this cost. It was too much to ask.

“Can you not change the law?”

Romana’s eyes softened. “No, Leela.”

Leela knew why Romana hadn’t told her about this. Because she’d already accepted this. Because there was no changing her mind. Because after tomorrow, her Romana would be gone forever.

“How could you _do_ this?” Leela shouted. Hot, angry tears flooded her eyes in an instant. “You have years left to live, but instead you- you simply give your life up like it is nothing?”

 _Andred._ The thought came to her like salt poured on a wound. She recalled seeing Torvald for the first time after she’d realised he was her husband, thinking about how much she loathed him, considering all the terrible things he’d done. He’d changed into someone she hadn’t recognised, both inside and out.

And Romana would do the same.

Romana’s mask slipped a little, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you give your life for your tribe?”

Leela clenched her hands into fists. “I would gladly die in battle, but _this_ is giving up.”

“No it’s not!” Romana stretched out her hands, pleading with her. “I’m doing what’s best for Gallifrey, Leela, as I’ve always done. It just demands a bit more this time.”

Leela shook her head, gritting her teeth as her tears fell down her cheeks. She gazed at Romana, her dearest friend, and resolved not to give up without one last fight. She softened her voice and stared into Romana’s eyes, willing her to listen. “Please do not do this, Romana. Not after all we have been through.”

Romana closed her eyes. She swallowed and let out a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, Leela,” she whispered. “This wasn’t an easy decision for me to make.”

 _Wasn’t._ The further confirmation that her purpose was unmovable sent such a stab of pain through Leela’s heart that she had to fight a rising sob.

“Narvin knew?” she forced out to distract herself, remembering the looks of pity he’d given her over the last week, the way he’d smiled less and seemed a bit quieter. “He knew and he did not tell me?” She thought of holding him at knifepoint, dangling him over the edge of the building’s roof, showing him that he couldn’t keep secrets from her, not like this—

But she found that the more satisfying thought was holding him close as they both mourned what they were losing.

“I told him not to,” Romana said. “I knew you would be upset.”

“Upset?” The word was almost a laugh as it tore itself from her throat. “Of course I am upset! You are about to _die,_ and worse, it is a death that you have chosen.”

Romana shook her head and stepped towards her, reaching out. "Leela..."

“No.” Leela retreated a step. She wanted something to fight, something she could rage at and kill, but there was nothing. It was just Romana.

If she couldn’t fight, then Leela only knew one other thing to do. “I cannot stay here and watch you do this. Goodbye, Romana." She took one last good look at her friend, certain that her last memory of Romana would be her face crumpling in complete pain and betrayal, before turning and running out the door.

She breathed out in a sob, sprinting as quickly as if she were running from a Dalek. She found herself going straight to Narvin’s quarters and banging on his door. “Narvin!” Her voice was strained and spiced with anger and sorrow, but she didn’t care. She beat her fist on the door again, so hard that it hurt and her bones felt like they would shatter. “Narvin, you _will_ answer me, or I swear I will—”

The door slid open to reveal Narvin with his hands in front of him like he was approaching a wild animal. “Leela—”

She shoved him so hard that he stumbled and fell back on the ground, staring up at her in shock. Leela crouched beside him and fisted his collar, yanking him up to meet her eyes. “You did not stop her. You _let_ her decide to do this. This is _your fault!”_ she yelled into his face, her voice cracking on the final word.

Normally, Narvin would retreat from her in fear. He’d push her away and scramble somewhere safe. But he just looked at her with utter sadness written on every inch of his face. To her surprise, his eyes even filled with tears.

“I know, Leela,” he said with a tremor in his voice. “I’m going to miss her too.”

Narvin’s admission drained all the fight out of her. Leela loosened her grip on him and sat back as the sobs took over. She covered her face with her hands, letting the anger and hurt and fear fall with every tear. Narvin’s arm was around her in a matter of seconds and she was too comforted by it to consider how strange it was for Narvin to do such a thing. He leaned his head against hers as his shuddering breaths sounded in her ear.

“Oh, Leela,” he said, his hand squeezing her shoulder. “What are we going to do without her?”

Leela didn’t know how to answer him. At that moment, she both loved and hated Romana more than she ever had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaha have fun 🙃

The election was a landslide.

As much as Romana tried to be pleased, dread seeped into her bones and chilled her blood. The applause meant nothing. The smiles were empty.

 _This is it._ As willing and ready as she had been to give up her life over the past week, now she felt like she needed to hold onto it more than ever. Why should she have to regenerate? Her life was _hers._ She couldn’t simply say goodbye to everything she’d lived through in this life: the friendships she’d made, the changes she’d implemented on Gallifrey, the adventures she’d had with the Doctor…

But she had already agreed to this, and it was too late to turn back now.

“Congratulations, Madame President.” Romana could tell that Narvin tried to smile, but it didn’t meet his eyes. Still, she was glad he was there by her side. She knew this had to be nearly as hard for him as it was for her; he’d done so much and tried so hard to protect her time and again, and now she was giving up that life he’d risked everything to save.

Romana tried not to notice that Leela was nowhere to be seen during the announcement.

The regeneration was meant to be a quiet affair; Romana was grateful for that, at least. The High Council was so cheery about it that it only seemed to compound the dismal feeling that had Romana nearly dragging her feet as she made her way towards the prepared zero room by Narvin’s side.

Neither of them spoke. Romana prayed for time to slow down, but instead, it seemed to speed up as she found herself in front of a dreaded whitewashed door. Just the sight of it seemed to weary her very bones; she was so, _so_ tired.

The corridor was deserted and would remain so until her regeneration was complete. The zero room was technically soundproof and these sorts of regenerations were made to be as painless as possible, but Romana suspected that the High Council wanted to make extra sure that no one passing by would hear their Lord President screaming in agony.

Romana’s skin tingled at the thought. She knew very well that no regeneration happened without at least a little pain.

Narvin cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. “Well…” He met her eyes and half-smiled. “A new beginning awaits. Good luck, Romana.”

Romana found herself just as much at a loss for words as Narvin. She wanted to talk about everything they'd done together, how much she trusted him, and how much his loyalty meant to her, but it all seemed like too much. It wasn’t like she was dying—well…not permanently, anyway.

"Thank you, Narvin.” As she looked into his eyes, trying to convey everything she couldn’t say, she dug deep into her mind. _Remember this,_ she told herself. _Appreciate him. Don’t take him for granted._

Silence. Romana half-turned back to the corridor, hoping beyond hope that Leela would be standing there.

It was empty.

“I tried to talk to her,” Narvin said. Of course, he knew exactly what she was thinking. “But you know Leela.”

“Yes.” Romana chuckled, but her laughter tapered off into a sigh. “Yes, I do.”

There was nothing left to wait for. Romana turned, held her head high, and reached for the door.

“Romana!"

She spun back around, her hearts lifting in her chest. Leela came barreling around the corner, slowing as she saw Romana. She came to a stop only a few feet away from Romana and bent double as she panted.

"I feared I was too late," she gasped in between breaths.

“You did cut it a bit fine,” Narvin said.

“You’re here,” Romana said firmly. “That’s all that matters. You didn’t have to—”

“Yes, I did.” Leela straightened up, her breathing starting to return to normal. "I do not understand this, but I know that you do it for the good of Gallifrey, and… I could not let you go without saying goodbye.” She looked at Romana for a moment like she wanted to say more, but then she closed the distance between them and wrapped her in a hug.

Romana held Leela tightly, fighting the tears that stung her eyes. This was what a war-torn Gallifrey needed, she realised. Love. Loyalty. Hugs, even. A long time ago, she would have scoffed at the thought. But now…

 _Never be afraid to love,_ she added to the growing pile of instructions for her future self.

Leela pulled away from Romana after a long moment, her eyes glassy. _"_ I will miss you.”

Romana tried to laugh, but it got caught in her throat. "You won't have to,” she said, her voice only a hoarse whisper.

Leela took Romana’s hand between both of hers and squeezed it. “Goodbye, Romana.”

All the history between them was written in her eyes, too much for either of them to say. Romana remembered the day Leela had inexplicably sneaked into her quarters; she could have never imagined then everything they’d go through together after that fateful meeting.

But their story wasn’t over. Something new was beginning, a chapter that even Romana couldn’t foresee.

“I’ll see you soon, Leela.” She smiled as best she could, telling herself that more than absolutely anything, she wasn’t allowed to forget how much Leela meant to her.

And with that, Romana withdrew her hand, nodded at Narvin one last time, and turned to face her fate.

“It’s the end,” she murmured. “But the moment has been prepared for.” She touched the door control and walked into the zero room without looking back. The door slid closed behind her, cutting her off from Leela and Narvin for good. In a sudden surge of emotion, Romana turned and laid a hand against the door.

“I love you both,” she whispered into the eerily silent room. Only now, when she was utterly alone at the very end of her life, could she say it; but it had been true for a long, long time.

Romana curled her hand into a fist and closed her eyes, reaching into her mind one last time. _Don’t forget that._ It was a command, something that she wouldn’t let herself ignore no matter what body she found herself in. _You_ can’t _forget that._

When Romana opened her eyes, her hand was glowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm sorry but I couldn't resist the Four reference (especially because Trey quotes it as well)!


	5. Chapter 5

Leela paced rapidly up and down the corridor, her footsteps echoing in the empty space. Narvin stood by with his hands clasped behind his back as he tapped his foot in a steady upbeat rhythm.

"Is this how long regeneration usually takes?" Leela asked. It felt like it had been hours since Romana had walked into the zero room.

_Since Romana had died._

The thought sent a cold shiver down her spine. Yes, she’d come to say goodbye to Romana, but it didn’t mean she was okay with what was happening; there was still a large part of her that resented Romana for her choice. She knew that she’d never fully understand why she’d done it.

But she’d learned a long, long time ago that she and Romana were very different people. Sometimes, she still forgot to respect that.

It didn’t make things any easier.

When Leela realised Narvin hadn’t responded, she looked over at him and noticed he’d been watching her, eyebrows furrowed low over his anxious eyes.

“Could you please stand still? You're making me nervous.”

Leela didn’t break her stride. “I can do what I please.”

Narvin sighed through his nose and looked down at the ground. “Regeneration is always different. It depends on the time lord and the regeneration itself, but most of the time it takes only seconds, minutes at the most.”

Leela glanced at the door at the end of the hall. “Then why is she taking so long?”

“I don’t know. It could be as simple as she’s coming to grips with her new body. Or, her regeneration could have gone wrong and she’s recovering.”

Leela’s steps stuttered and she stopped, staring at Narvin. “Gone wrong?”

“I don’t know, Leela!” he said in a burst of frustration. “I just don’t know.” He paused. “You don’t have to stay, you know.”

“I _will_ stay,” she growled, resuming her pacing. Despite her disagreement with Romana, her loyalty to her friend wasn’t shaken.

But would she still be Romana when she walked out? Or would she be a complete stranger? Could she still call herself Romana’s friend?

The sound of a door opening made Leela freeze.

Part of her didn’t want to turn and see the person who wasn’t Romana walking out of those doors, but she knew it was inevitable. She couldn’t run from the truth forever.

So, Leela held her breath and turned around.

It wasn’t Romana who walked out, but someone Leela had only known briefly. Though she knew the circumstances regarding that meeting were complicated, the bad impression this figure had made on Leela remained. In fact, Leela had hoped that she’d never see the face in front of her ever again.

Trey’s bright eyes rested on Leela, then Narvin. Her lips stretched into a wide gain. “Hello, you two. I hope I didn't keep you waiting for long.”

Silence. Leela couldn’t take her eyes from Trey, but she was sure that Narvin was in a similar slack-jawed state beside her.

It was jarring, the fact that death could give way to this entirely new, happy face. But all the smiles in the universe couldn’t mask the fact that Romana— _Leela’s_ Romana—was gone forever.

Trey’s smile faded. “Do I look all right? I haven’t seen my face yet, but I expect it’s a tad familiar.”

Narvin cleared his throat. “You look fine. It’s good to see you…Romana.”

Leela winced. Using Romana’s name for this imposter still didn’t seem right, and she wasn’t sure it ever would.

Trey’s expression brightened again as she turned towards Narvin. “Thank you, Narvin. It’s good to see you, too.”

Leela watched with increasing surprise as Trey walked straight up to Narvin and hugged him. He sputtered for a moment, standing completely stiff in her brief embrace. He fidgeted and stared at the ground with bright red cheeks as she pulled away.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a long time, you know.” Trey’s eyes caught Leela’s over Narvin’s shoulder and she held out her arms. “Leela?"

Leela could see the need to be wanted in her eyes. She wanted to give her the comfort she needed, but...

"I will need some time. To grieve my Romana.”

Trey’s face fell and she lowered her arms, but nodded. “Of course, it’s only natural.” She hesitated and briefly chewed her lower lip. “I don’t suppose…well, you don’t really want to talk about it, do you? We’ve already done that.”

Leela recalled the argument in Romana’s apartments. It had only been yesterday, but it felt like it had been days ago. Still, the feeling of betrayal lingered.

Trey stepped forward and Leela had the instinct to back away from this stranger. Instead, she stood her ground and looked right into Trey’s eyes.

“I truly am sorry, Leela,” she said quietly, clearly leaving Narvin out of the conversation. “Even though I’m fresh and new, there’s a sadness inside of me that carried over from my last body. And that’s the fact that I let you down.”

“Yes, you did.”

Romana’s lips twitched into a smirk and it took Leela a moment to realise she’d admitted out loud that Trey was still Romana. She crossed her arms, irritated at both herself and Romana for letting her fall into the trap.

“Could you ever forgive me?” Romana asked. Every trace of amusement was gone as her eyes silently pleaded with Leela.

Leela still wasn’t sure she’d ever forgiven Andred, even after all the time that had passed. “I do not know.”

As she watched the hurt cross Romana’s features, she noted how different she was. Her eyes were a different colour, they were wider, and they showed so much more emotion than her Romana’s ever had. It had always been so easy to be angry at Romana when she had tried her best to remain emotionless. _This_ was rather different, like she was staring the consequences of her own stubbornness in the face.

Leela sighed silently. “…but I will try.”

Romana’s expression softened and her smile returned, though warmer. “That’s all I can ask for.” She looked past Leela and stretched out her arms. “I think I need some fresh air. Care to join me? In this new body, I think I may just be able to keep up with you.”

“Join you? Where?”

“The Outlands, I think. I’d like to get out of the Capitol before all the terrible ceremony starts.”

“The Outlands?” Leela stared at her in surprise. Romana had never expressed a wish to go out there; even when Leela had taken her, she’d dragged her feet.

Narvin was somehow instantly beside them, seeming to have recovered enough to be his normal pessimistic self. “Madame President—Romana, with your inauguration tomorrow, you really should rest.”

“Nonsense, Narvin. I just regenerated into a brand new body, and it’s not like I'm the Doctor, stumbling around and falling into a coma after every regeneration. The walk will do me good.”

For the first time in days, Leela felt a true smile tug at her lips. “If you expect to keep up with me, there will be little walking. It has been a long time since I have been able to run.”

Narvin focused a sharp gaze on her. “Don’t encourage her!”

But Leela could feel the competition and camaraderie in the air, and it was familiar. That same old mirth was in Romana’s eyes as she revelled in defying Narvin’s caution. She looked at Leela just like she used to, that rare gleam in her eyes that sent a thrill through Leela’s veins because she knew it meant the best kind of trouble was in store. Leela didn’t fully know how regeneration worked, but she wondered if her Romana was in there somewhere, looking out through this Romana’s eyes and telling Leela that everything would be all right.

She wasn’t sure it would ever be all right—but at least this was a start.

Narvin let out an aggravated huff. “Romana, you can’t be serious!”

“Hush, Narvin.” Romana's eyes twinkled as she grinned. “Leela and I have places to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :) I actually think Romana III has the potential to be really awesome, but we just have so little content with her (and the entirety of what we do have is either AU or Not Actually Real so 😅). I may come back to this universe some time because I'd especially like to explore some more Trey and Leela, but we'll see.


End file.
